It still cuts deep.
That r-word that people are so used to saying: retarded. How did a word
from an actual medical term, become a word filled with such atrocity? Just like
I don’t understand how people can call something “gay” when they are referring
to something that is lame, or seemingly stupid. How do you think that makes
homosexuals feel? I’d venture to guess it doesn’t make them feel so great.
Though the misuse of the word “gay” is mostly heard in people aged 30 or below,
I have heard people of every age range use the word “retarded” in my presence
when speaking of people with Special Needs and/or referencing something stupid,
lame, moronic, etc. Although my son hasn’t been diagnosed with Intellectual Disability, formerly known as Mental Retardation on top of his Severe Autism (classic nonverbal), many of his
behaviors mirror those of my high school peers who were in the Special
Education Program, and I heard many of my classmates often refer to them as the
“retarded kids.” I have to admit, I never even used the word back then. Maybe
it’s because I have a very empathetic personality, but it’s always been very
easy for me to put myself in someone else’s shoes. I used to think, “Wow, what
if his mom was around and heard someone say that about her child. She would be
crushed.”
Well guess what? It is a crushing feeling when I hear that
word. I can’t tell you how many times I have posted on my Facebook page in the
past few years about my pledge to end the word at Spread The Word To End TheWord, and the fact that “retarded” is a word that marginalizes millions of
people with disabilities –or different abilities– worldwide. Please do not ever
describe another human being, or something moronic as “retarded.” When you use
that word, it is so obvious and clear that you are placing them at a level
below that of yourself, as if they are less of a person because of different
abilities. How do you think that makes me feel? Let me share a little secret,
it certainly makes me question how you view my son, and I don’t like that
feeling. Some of you may think I’m being overly sensitive about this, and that’s
ok, because I AM overly sensitive about it. How would you feel if you have
heard people in supermarkets, restaurants, malls, etc refer to your child as “the
retard making all that noise” or you heard the table next to you state “that
retarded kid is ruining my dinner” or a family member state “that’s retarded.” Yup.
Feels like shit.
So now let me share with you some other options when
describing a fellow HUMAN BEING who happens to have (to name a few) Autism, Down’s
syndrome, Fragile X, Angelman syndrome, etc.:
- differently-abled
- special needs
- someone with a disability
When trying to express your dislike or opinion of something:
- dumb
- lame
- stupid
- un-fun
(the aforementioned words are
only offensive when used to describe a
person with disabilities. They are, however, completely acceptable words in the
English language –imagine all those times you used the “retarded” in my
presence– for example: “My math teacher is so lame” or “that car just made a
stupid move” or “Hahaha you are so dumb! LOL!”)
I’m both nervous and excited to announce that I made my
first New Year’s Resolution, ever. This year, I resolve to speak up every
single time I hear the word used. Remember that. Do you want to be that
stranger in the supermarket that I make a mockery of? Do you want to be that
person in line at Disneyland that I politely tap on the shoulder then “accidentally”
spill my soda on? Or the family member that I have to pull aside and make an
awkward moment? I hope your answer to all of those questions is a resounding
NO!!!!!!!!
Please show some humanity/empathy and realize that the word “retarded”
is unnecessary in everyday language. Take the pledge and Spread The Word To End The Word today.
“Different, not less.” –Temple Grandin
